The Call

The world seems like a scarey place right now. There have been mornings when I've woken up and literally was so overcome with fear I wasn't sure I could get out of bed. The thought of getting the kids dressed, making lunches, driving them to school, and going about daily business was almost more than I could bear.

The state of our nation's economy makes the future seem so uncertain. Todd lost his job a week ago. OUR financial future, our home, our bills, food for our children, it all seems so uncertain. BUT, is it really uncertain? The logistics are uncertain...when will we find a job, what will we do in the mean time, how is our life on Earth really going to play out? I'm so comforted by an inspired talk given by Pres. Uchtdorf in October's General Conference. He reminds us that, "Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be."

I've thought so much about how if I spend all of my time consumed by the despair and frustration I feel, then I will miss out on so much! Rhiannon and Kess will never be 12 again. Colin will never be 7, almost 8, and Connor will never be 6 again. What I will miss can never be replaced. But this trial in our life will be over at some point. It is NOT permanent.

I know that with faith we will move forward, but faith, alone, doesn't get rid of the gnawing pain in my stomach. This is why I love that Pres. Uchtdorf points out that faith, hope, and charity are a three legged stool. I forgot that I don't just need faith, but also hope. Hope is essential! He said, "Hope is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance."

Rhiannon and Kess love the Narnia movies. Last week they were listening to the final song, "The Call" by Regina Spektor. I stopped what I was doing and listened to the words of that song. I cried tears of joy as I was reminded of C.S. Lewis's message and theme throughout his Narnia series. I know he didn't write the lyrics to the song, but the lyrics are inspired and truly sum up C.S. Lewis's message. I was filled with emotion as I remembered that I did live with God before I was born. I know that he loves me, and waits for my return. I felt renewed strength and hope. One particular line of the song struck me the most. It says, "Just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before. All you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war." I couldn't help but think of the scriptures and the cycles that all of the people went through. Righteousness, pride and trials, repentance, humbling themselves before the Lord, blessings, righteousness...and the cycle continues.

The situation we find ourselves in today, the economy, the uncertainty for our future. It's really no big surprise. We've known it was coming. I find great peace in knowing this is nothing new. We will be tried and tested, and then it will pass. All I can do is have faith, have hope, and know which voices to listen to. I'm so grateful for modern day revelation. I'm grateful for the knowledge I DO have. I'm even grateful for the inspiration of C.S. Lewis. I'm so grateful for a dear friend who loves me enough to talk me out of bed...and threaten me out of bed. I'm so grateful for an inspired friend who reminded me today of Pres. Uchtdorf's message of hope. I'm also grateful for the knowledge that along with the cycle of righteousness and repentance there's another cycle. As Pres Uchtdorf said, "Because God has been faithful and kept His promises in the past, we can hope with confidence that God will keep His promises to us in the present and in the future."

Here's a link to Pres. Uchtdorf's address in case you want to read it, http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=25c5a0ad4843d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1

Also, here's a link to "The Call" that someone posted on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNsQewlFtEs