A Blog Re-Evaluation

It's almost February. Wow, a whole month in the year '09 is almost gone. I'm so sad that I haven't blogged in a month. I'm sad that it's almost February and I still haven't blogged Christmas. This feeling has led to some serious self questioning. Why am I avoiding blogging? Is it really a lack of time? Why does it feel like a chore everytime I think about blogging? Well, like all good self conversations, there came a very defining answer. THE REASON: I don't want to blog because I'm thinking about blogging for the wrong audience....which brings unnecessary pressure.

There are great blogs on the internet. Friends blogs, funny blogs, entertaining blogs, awesome inspiring blogs, organizational blogs...and blogs that are all of the above and so much more...yeah, you know who you are....and once again I was feeling pressure to be like everyone else. My dearest friend has a beautiful blog, but she blogs for the right reason, for her family. It just so happens she has real talent and her blog is entertaining and I look forward to every new post.

So, questions to self: What do I want out of my blog? What's my purpose?

Self answers: My purpose is to record memories. To not feel guilty about the buckets of unused scrapbook stuff I have. To know at the end of the year I will have something I can print and give to my children. To know that I'm recording our family history, our ins and outs, ups and downs. I want something for my children. I want my blog to be for them. Does it matter if it's just a lot of pictures and boring dialogue? It might matter to some, but it shouldn't matter to me, because those words, those recorded moments, will be so precious to my children. Just like every other "good" thing in life, I can make blogging better and more meaningful with a "better" attitude. So, alas...here I go....again. Oh, and I'll try not to be discouraged that after such a short time of blogging, I'm already re-evaluating my intentions. Alas, that tis who I am...so most importantly, I want my kids to know who I am...not "who" I'm trying to be.