A Letter to Harry

Dear Harry Potter,

I'm sorry to inform you that we need to end our relationship. I know, I know...I've loved you and been with you through all seven of your books, and five of your movies. I've enjoyed our time together, however all good things must come to an end. You see, Harry, you no longer bring me joy...only heartache and annoyance. Because of you....

THEY

got all dressed up tonight to go to their first movie, YOUR movie, alone with a friend...(although, much to their dismay dad did go to the same movie, just not "with" them. )

And as if it's not enough that you're responsible for aging my daughters over night...you are also responsible for the fact that tonight I cleaned

THISOn my hands and knees because...

THISwas used as a broomstick earlier in the week!

Thanks so much, Harry.

He survived...

(So what's with throwing the gang signs when he gets his little diploma?)

Er...or should I say...his teacher survived! Connor is wrapping up his first year of school. He's had such a great year and has done really well. We are so proud of him. Here are a few videos from his Kindergarten Celebration tonight.

This first one is my absolute favorite! What a hoot!

Oh what a fun year you've had Connor. You were adorable tonight! Dad and I are both so very proud of you. You've grown and changed so much this year. We're so proud of how much you've learned. I love listening to you read! I love all of your little sentences you write! I love the little person you have become! I love you!

Co-dependency Anyone?

Rhiannon was having some fun with my phone...that explains the color...I didn't even know you could change the color. As for the co-dependency...she was kidding...I think.

Coping Mechanism

There are a variety of ways to cope with stress. Apparently I cope with the stress of a long, long day and quarreling children by singing Broadway tunes in the Taco Bell drive thru.

Bring it ON!

It happens. Every month, it happens. Hormone levels drop and I have a very bad day. In the past these days have manifested themselves in a variety of ways. Sometimes, I become paranoid and believe that everyone hates me. Other times I've been known to cry, a lot, and feel far too overwhelmed to ever get anything accomplished. There's been months of ravenous hunger, eating brownies and ice cream and any combination of carbs I can find. THIS month however, I decided would be different. Even though there is a plethora of things to freak out and cry about, I decided I was going to hold it together no matter WHAT! Well, don't ever declare war on Mother Nature.....

I awoke this morning, and knew with the dull ache in my head that today was not going to be a very good day. I decided to shut the world OUT. I closed my door, crawled into bed, put a pillow over my head, and pulled my covers around me. I was going to crawl into my hole and emerge tomorrow a much happier being. Of course this lasted for about thirty minutes until a concerned phone call reminded me that I could not spend the day, locked in my room.

So, I decided to fight this thing head ON! First, I thought I would color my gray hairs. Primping makes everyone feel better, right? In light of recent events, I would just have to do the job myself. I've done it numerous times in the past, and never ONCE have I had a coloring mishap....until now. Red roots, black ends. I was almost pushed over the edge. I fought the tears with a vengeance. "Today will be a good day!" Maybe I was being dramatic, maybe it's not so bad. Well, my fears were confirmed after school!

My spirited Kess, "Mom, I like your hair."

Me, hopeful, "Really?"

Kess, "Yeah, it is so spunky! You're like a rock star mom! I would totally do my hair like that if I could."

Not exactly the look I was going for, "Mmmm...yeah, thanks, Kess."

I look over at Rhiannon who's eyebrows are raised and a look of disdain paints her face.

"I don't like it. "

"Yeah, I know. It's black and red isn't it?

"Yes." She says.

Enough said.

After school we also went to the library. I don't know what it is about the Bentonville library, but I NEVER have a good experience there. EVER. Of course my account was expired, and of course I had a late fee, and OF COURSE I was helped by some tacky little old woman with tightly permed hair and large amounts of exposed cleavage.

"Ummm....let's see, is all of your information still correct?"

"Yes."

"Okay," she then pulls my name up on the computer and glances at the screen, then at me, then back at the screen and says, "Ew. Well you must have been really tired when we took your picture before and you had much longer hair."

What the HELL? Excuse me while I go climb back into my hole. I'll see you guys in a few days.

A Special Day

Today was Colin's Baptism Day. He turned 8 last week and was baptized today. Sweet Sarah took these lovely pictures and made us a video. It's absolutely beautiful. It's perfect! Thank you Sarah! Colin's baptism was so special and the Spirit was so strong. We were blessed to have my family here with us. After the Baptism I took Colin to pick out his very own Scriptures. We spent the rest of the day hanging out, playing, laughing, and eating. It was so, SO much fun!

The Call

The world seems like a scarey place right now. There have been mornings when I've woken up and literally was so overcome with fear I wasn't sure I could get out of bed. The thought of getting the kids dressed, making lunches, driving them to school, and going about daily business was almost more than I could bear.

The state of our nation's economy makes the future seem so uncertain. Todd lost his job a week ago. OUR financial future, our home, our bills, food for our children, it all seems so uncertain. BUT, is it really uncertain? The logistics are uncertain...when will we find a job, what will we do in the mean time, how is our life on Earth really going to play out? I'm so comforted by an inspired talk given by Pres. Uchtdorf in October's General Conference. He reminds us that, "Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be."

I've thought so much about how if I spend all of my time consumed by the despair and frustration I feel, then I will miss out on so much! Rhiannon and Kess will never be 12 again. Colin will never be 7, almost 8, and Connor will never be 6 again. What I will miss can never be replaced. But this trial in our life will be over at some point. It is NOT permanent.

I know that with faith we will move forward, but faith, alone, doesn't get rid of the gnawing pain in my stomach. This is why I love that Pres. Uchtdorf points out that faith, hope, and charity are a three legged stool. I forgot that I don't just need faith, but also hope. Hope is essential! He said, "Hope is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance."

Rhiannon and Kess love the Narnia movies. Last week they were listening to the final song, "The Call" by Regina Spektor. I stopped what I was doing and listened to the words of that song. I cried tears of joy as I was reminded of C.S. Lewis's message and theme throughout his Narnia series. I know he didn't write the lyrics to the song, but the lyrics are inspired and truly sum up C.S. Lewis's message. I was filled with emotion as I remembered that I did live with God before I was born. I know that he loves me, and waits for my return. I felt renewed strength and hope. One particular line of the song struck me the most. It says, "Just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before. All you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war." I couldn't help but think of the scriptures and the cycles that all of the people went through. Righteousness, pride and trials, repentance, humbling themselves before the Lord, blessings, righteousness...and the cycle continues.

The situation we find ourselves in today, the economy, the uncertainty for our future. It's really no big surprise. We've known it was coming. I find great peace in knowing this is nothing new. We will be tried and tested, and then it will pass. All I can do is have faith, have hope, and know which voices to listen to. I'm so grateful for modern day revelation. I'm grateful for the knowledge I DO have. I'm even grateful for the inspiration of C.S. Lewis. I'm so grateful for a dear friend who loves me enough to talk me out of bed...and threaten me out of bed. I'm so grateful for an inspired friend who reminded me today of Pres. Uchtdorf's message of hope. I'm also grateful for the knowledge that along with the cycle of righteousness and repentance there's another cycle. As Pres Uchtdorf said, "Because God has been faithful and kept His promises in the past, we can hope with confidence that God will keep His promises to us in the present and in the future."

Here's a link to Pres. Uchtdorf's address in case you want to read it, http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=25c5a0ad4843d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1

Also, here's a link to "The Call" that someone posted on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNsQewlFtEs

A Penguin's Holiday

December was a month of many activities. One of many activities was Colin's second grade play, "A Penguin's Holiday". We learned from experience last year when Colin had a first grade play and we stood in the back of the cafeteria, unable to see him even ONCE. So, this year we arrived at the play 45 minutes early. It still wasn't early enough. We sat about 10 rows back and still the pictures I got of him are not very good. I felt sooo bad for all the inexperienced moms and dads who came 15 minutes before the play only to find they were crammed in like sardines unable to see above the heads in front of them. Since we were in for a long wait we kept ourselves busy by handing the camera over to Connor. Here is a sampling of his photo shoot.

Here I am lookin' mighty fine...well, not exactly fine...more like exhausted, haggard, skanky. It was December, what can I say. (What's my excuse this month?)

Here's Todd, posing so handsomely. A face only a mother could love. Boy, what a great looking couple. HAHAHA!!!

Now, here's a fine lookin' group. Kess, Rhiannon, and Helen. At least they had each other to help the minutes tick by faster. (Notice the people in the background. Those are their seats, back against the wall! YUK! Can't these schools afford a few more chairs? Or how 'bout we just forego the Christmas program altogether?)

Awww, and finally it was time for the show to begin. The program was actually really cute. The kids and teachers did a great job. Colin played one of Santa's reindeer. He was Vixen. He delivered his part beautifully. We were so proud of him! He had entertained us for weeks before the show singing his songs, and doing a little dance. He's quite the performer!

I'm With the Band

Sixth grade is an exciting year! Finally the kids get to pick a specialty at school and take an extra class. The choices are things like choir, orchestra, band, art, etc. Rhiannon and Kess both picked band and they both chose the clarinet. Oh, how I stressed over purchasing that blasted clarinet. Hours...I mean HOURS spent pouring over clarinets on ebay. I was a nervous wreck. All the band teachers said, "Don't buy a clarinet on ebay." Being a rule follower made it so hard to take the plunge. But with some help from another band mom, Ayreann, I found two perfect instruments. We bought them from two retired band teachers who were very helpful and did a great job cleaning up the instruments.

The girls were so excited to start band and they've done an EXCELLENT job! It's been so fun to listen to them playing around the house. I love it when they have a song test and they play it over and over again. I love the sounds of one of them upstairs, the other one downstairs, constant repetition and echoing of the same song. Oh, I wish they would play it every day. I never could understand why my parents enjoyed hearing me play the piano, but now I know.

They had a very brief band concert in December. It was at the high school. We got seated in the auditorium and the curtains on stage were closed. As soon as we heard them warming up behind the curtains I got goose bumps. Then the curtains opened and I started to cry. I know, I know, but it was just so exciting. I'm so proud of them. I love that they are doing something that I've never done. I love that it's something they can teach me! I love seeing their independence and love of learning something new. Just one more reason I'm so grateful that I sent them to public school!

Unfortunately during the concert I never could see Rhiannon. So, I got a few shots of Kess, and a picture of their friend Helen. Helen's the only girl trombone player. That makes her "extra" cool.

On a side note: Helen is the sister of Colin's friend Virginia. We sat by Virginia and her family during the concert. Colin and Virginia giggled and played. They were so cute!

Stolen Moments

You gotta love a kid with style...and this kid, well he's got style!

Lemme explain the outfit. Indiana Jones hat from his Halloween costume, listening to "Fish Heads" on his CD player (yes, I introduced him to that song..."roly poly fish heads, eat them up, yum!" ), red soccer jersey, green random shorts, reading the comics, and probably chewing the inside of his mouth, like his Grandma! Oh, I LOVE this boy!

NWAKC Dog Show

On December 6th Georgie and I entered our first Rally competition. Rally is basically a way to ease into the Obedience ring. Traditionally in formal Obedience competitions, only one command can be given and the commands can either be vocal or hand signals. In Rally you can talk to your dog as much as you want, give encouragement, give hand signals and vocal commands together. It's basically a way to get used to the distractions involved in competing and get rid of some of the jitters associated with the obedience trials.

I really didn't prepare Georgie very well at all. She's never been to any formal classes, but she's incredibly intelligent, okay...not according to Todd or Sarah....but she IS and she's very attentive, too. Plus she loves to work and she's so stinkin' happy and bouncy that I just had to enter her in the show.

My friend Diane, who is also my training buddy, entered her dog Zelda, (who happens to be Georgie's half sister).

Rhiannon and Kess also went to the show to give us their support and to watch us strut our stuff. They gave us lots of love and encouragement. Just when the day couldn't get any better, imagine my surprise when Sarah showed up...in Fayetteville, with her 3 small children in tow, just to support us and cheer us on. Imagine her surprise when I told her to please not yell, "Go black bitch", when it was our turn! I was so touched by her sacrifice and support. It was a really, really great day. Sarah made it extra fun and entertaining. She even blogged about it...a dogumentary, as she likes to call it.

Georgie did well. She got kind of distracted with all of the barking dogs. It wasn't a clean performance, but she did what I asked and it was a great first time. She and Zelda tied with 97 points. Zelda's time was faster, though. So Diane and Zelda took second place, and we took third. It was great to finally be back in the "dog world" again, and we're looking forward to the spring and attending a few more shows!

After it was all over I was so happy, not that you can tell from my cheesy grin...thumping heart, sweaty palms, but Georgie kept her cool and just looked for more bums to sniff!

A Blog Re-Evaluation

It's almost February. Wow, a whole month in the year '09 is almost gone. I'm so sad that I haven't blogged in a month. I'm sad that it's almost February and I still haven't blogged Christmas. This feeling has led to some serious self questioning. Why am I avoiding blogging? Is it really a lack of time? Why does it feel like a chore everytime I think about blogging? Well, like all good self conversations, there came a very defining answer. THE REASON: I don't want to blog because I'm thinking about blogging for the wrong audience....which brings unnecessary pressure.

There are great blogs on the internet. Friends blogs, funny blogs, entertaining blogs, awesome inspiring blogs, organizational blogs...and blogs that are all of the above and so much more...yeah, you know who you are....and once again I was feeling pressure to be like everyone else. My dearest friend has a beautiful blog, but she blogs for the right reason, for her family. It just so happens she has real talent and her blog is entertaining and I look forward to every new post.

So, questions to self: What do I want out of my blog? What's my purpose?

Self answers: My purpose is to record memories. To not feel guilty about the buckets of unused scrapbook stuff I have. To know at the end of the year I will have something I can print and give to my children. To know that I'm recording our family history, our ins and outs, ups and downs. I want something for my children. I want my blog to be for them. Does it matter if it's just a lot of pictures and boring dialogue? It might matter to some, but it shouldn't matter to me, because those words, those recorded moments, will be so precious to my children. Just like every other "good" thing in life, I can make blogging better and more meaningful with a "better" attitude. So, alas...here I go....again. Oh, and I'll try not to be discouraged that after such a short time of blogging, I'm already re-evaluating my intentions. Alas, that tis who I am...so most importantly, I want my kids to know who I am...not "who" I'm trying to be.

Are You Kidding Me??

I've just got to pose a question. Is there some kind of internal rule book that tells girls that when they turn twelve it its mandatory to primp for an hour in the bathroom before attending a YW's activity? Because my newly turned 12 year olds are primping...they don't even wear make up...what is there to primp?

They are primping before their first YW Wednesday night activity. They've never even been to an activity. How do they know that's what girls do before a Wednesday night activity? Well, I mean, that's what other girls do..I never did that! Oh boy...here we go!

By the way...I've got tons of Christmas stuff to post. It may not get posted until July, but it will be blogged about, eventually.