Fishin' For Reel

I live in an imaginary world. I have constant internal conversations. Every event in my life has previously been played out as a perfect scenario within the walls of "Courtney World". The only problem is...in Real Life things don't always run as smoothly as I envision they will. Friday afternoon I decided to take the kids fishing. I took this on with the complete knowledge that I would be the only active adult in this endeavor of baiting and fixing and casting and, well...fishing. I knew it was going to be a beautiful and magical and fun filled trip. In my world we were standing on the banks, casting, and speaking softly as we each reeled in our big catches, one at a time in a very orderly fashion. Well, the real version goes a little like this.

Evidently the only bait available at Wal-Mart, are nightcrawlers. "Ooooh..." said my dad, "Those are like baiting a hook with a small snake." I dismissed this comment assuming he was exaggerating. As I pulled out the first wriggling specimen, I realized how true this statement was. I was literally shaking knowing that at any moment this "harmless" worm was going to grow fangs and swallow my finger. He was FIGHTING me. I tried to appear confident for the onlooking children. Eventually, I had to play dirty with the small snakes and cut them in half with pliers....while trying not to puke. Things really got interesting when one of them sprayed something all over Connor...umm...yeah.

Finally, everyone was baited, and then the wait began. Twenty minutes later we still had not seen any signs of life in the water. Of course, the twenty minutes consisted of, "I'm hot, I'm bored, I'm thirsty, hey...watch out...when are we gonna catch something" Oh, and Colin decided he didn't like me hurting the worms so he would dig his hands into the container and hold all 20 of them in his hands..UCK...then he would howl when I tried to use them for bait. Finally, we agreed on which one was his friend and he carried him around and tortured Todd for the remainder of the time...(Yes, he is showing his worm to Todd. Is Todd's finger a subliminal message about how he REALLY feels about fishing?)

Finally, we saw FISH!!! Everyone caught a couple, and there were tears over the ones who got away. It was usually someone else's fault. There were a few fish tragedies I tried to hide from the kids and I prayed every time I threw the fish back, that they would at least appear to swim until they got out of sight, knowing they would soon be doing the backstroke.

Eventually the girls joined Colin in setting the worms free. They ran up and down the banks until they found an injured bird. They were sure it was our duty to capture him and nurse him back to health. All I could see when I looked at him was "bird flu", so I convinced them he was fine and knew how to take care of himself. Finally, the last worm was cast out and eaten. It was time to go. As we piled in the van Todd reminded all of us about washing up when we got home. He looked at me and said, "What's for dinner? You are going to shower when you get home, right?" Awww, well it wasn't my fantasy, but it was fun!